THE TEENAGE YEARS ARE A CRITICAL TIME OF DEVELOPMENTAL TRANSITION, OFTEN MARKED BY INTENSE EMOTIONS, SOCIAL INTERACTIONS AND THE EXPLORATION OF IDENTITY

Adolescence is one of the most dynamic phases on the developmental spectrum. It is the transitional period between childhood and adulthood and can be broken into three developmental groups: Tween (10-12), Teens (13-16), and Young Adulthood (17 -27). Each stage allows for progressive growth towards independence and builds the necessary skills to meet the requirements of adult life.

Adolescence is a time of change; our neurological structure is maturing and forming networks and pathways. Biologically, we see the introduction of hormones and a change in focus. These allow for more sophisticated problem-solving and relating patterns. It can be difficult to understand the changes in the relating and responding patterns during adolescence.

It can be difficult to know how to respond in a calm and compassionate way. It might be helpful to offer understanding and guidance, as it can be just as uncomfortable for young people as those around them. Never lose sight of the person. A teenager needs the same, if not more, connection than an infant. If you do have to deal with issues that arise, model conducive communication skills such as assertive communication and negotiation.

Firstly, assertive communication means communicating clearly about your boundaries and being open about the impact of your behaviour on your emotions. The best use of language is to start the sentence with "I." Examples might be “I feel…..”, “I don’t like it when…..”, or “I’m noticing…..”. Using "I" allows other people to hear you without judgment or the need to defend themselves.

Secondly, Negotiation. Be clear about your non-negotiables but a teenager will respond to being invited to negotiate. Young people are looking for opportunities to practice their growth in independence, so freedom is the best bargaining chip.

Lastly, if you’re a young person, be patient with yourself. There is a lot happening both biologically and socially. This is only temporary! Surround yourself with people you trust. Talk to your adults and let them know what it’s like for you. Be curious, be critical about things you watch, read, and consume, and most importantly, pick your friends well. They make all the difference.